


A Dance with Anxiety

by Mufffy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, First Kisses, Fluff, M/M, Making Out, Panic Attacks, Trans Jeremy Heere, Weed, he wears a dress, high school dance, shut up about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: Michael invites Jeremy to a high school dance and has a plan to ask him out





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jeremy is in a dress
> 
> If you don't like Jeremy in a dress then don't fucking read this, it's that simple. Thanks, i get enough hate for the shit i do but if you dont like it, then dont fucking read !!
> 
> Okay. Christine is the best wing-girl and Rich is the true mpv

“Hey Jer-“ Michael pulled up to a red light, glancing at Jeremy who was lost in his book. His hair covering a lot of his face as his hand, his cardigan completely covering his arm, reached up to tuck it behind his ear

“Yeah?” He said softly, pulling the small charms on his bookmark down to close his book

“So you know how the dance is this Saturday?” Michael nervously tapped his thumb on the wheel before driving again

“Oh?” He smiled a little, his voice still quiet, pre usual “What about it?” He blinked, looking out the window

“Well I was gonna ask if you were going or not” Michael swallowed, his face flushing lightly. He had a crush on Jermey, and Jeremy was still oblivious to that fact

“Hm.. Not planning on it” Jeremy lightly mumbled, covering his mouth a little, slightly embarrassed “Besides, I’ve never even been” 

Michael took a moment to register it before hitting his breaks, Jeremy flying forward a little before the child lock kicked in, holding him back before he winced in pain. 

“What the hell?!” They both said, Jeremy’s a lot quiet though

“You explain first- Why the fuck did you almost try and kill me?!” Jeremy coughed, unbuckling to reset the seat belt

Michael waited until he was buckled again, driving a lot slower this time “Sorry- I forgot about your binder” he mumbled and pat Jeremy’s shoulder “And I meant, You’ve never been to a school dance?”

Jeremy nodded, looking back at him now “No, Ive never wanted to go or had a reason to” he plainly said “Too many people, too much anxiety, too many panic attacks” he shrugged, looking back at his book to mess with the strings at the end. It’s not that he never actually wanted to go, but more of he knew he shouldn’t even if he did

“I-I know” Michael frowned, thinking of a way to ask him “But I mean, I’d be there- And you can wear whatever you want”

“I’m wearing sweat pants and a tank top without a bra” Jeremy mumbled, slightly agitated 

“Cool, What color? I want my tie to at least match” Michael sounded serious and probably would let Jeremy do that

Jermey couldn’t help but laugh, staring at him “What?! You- Actually would??” Jeremy snorted into his hand, covering his nose so Michael couldn’t see it crinkle in the cute way he likes “I was joking!”

Michael laughed a little, nudging his shoulder but keeping his hands on the wheel “I know, but I would if it would make you happy” he smiled “And.. I-I can understand if you’re uncomfortable about the gender thing” he mumbled, a little scared to bring it up, hopefully not changing Jeremy’s mind

Jeremy smiled a little, under his sleeve, thinking about it “I’ll think about it” he said in a sweet voice “But it could be fun..” He mumbled “Then again it’s in a few hours” he looked at the time

Michael smiled “Why do you think I asked you to come to town with me? I was gonna get lunch if you said no, but you said yes so shopping it is” Michael smiled

Jeremy blinked, pouting a little “C.. Can.. Can we still get lunch?” He whispered

Michael smiled at him “Of course” he laughed, blushing a little at how Jeremy’s lips curved upwards in a feminine way, but Michael hated thinking about him that way

“Yay!” Jeremy’s voice squeaked as he made a strange squeaking sound before giggling, his legs sometime ending up crossed and in the seat “So.. This means a dress?” He mumbled, a little shyly as he played with his player 2 necklace, the red heart edges slowly wearing out into a grey

Michael frowned “Yeah.. B-but once it’s over we can go into my basement and I’ll let you wear whatever you want! Or nothing, I’m comfortable as long as you are!” He tried to push it a little, convincing him to come

Jeremy smiled a little “I can wear something under neath it.. or just shorts, I guess” he mumbled the last part as if he didn’t want to before looking up “Why not go there?” Jeremy smiled, pointed to a thrift store next to a library

Michael smiled stopping “We can go in there, I’ll match if you want, As friends though” he smiled before watching Jermey unbuckle

“Stay here” Jeremy smiled, putting his book down “By the way I was talking about the library” he giggled “Joking- Joking” he smiled, seeing Michael’s glare before getting out “You.. go home, and I’ll pick the things out? It’ll be.. better” Jeremy smiled a little, pouting slightly

Michael immediately nodded “Whatever makes you comfortable, promise. I’ll come and pick you up when you’re done?” He questioned

He shook his head “I’ll be fine!” He smiled “I’ll get a ride or walk, I don’t want you seeing me wear anything until… then” he smiled, walking off

Michael opened his mouth to protest before pulling away, still watching him before he walked inside

_________________________

Jeremy 4:48 PM: Photo 09-23-17 sent

Jeremy had sent a picture of him in a white simple dress, a blue plaid shirt typed at the bottom as a small jacket

Jeremy 4:49 PM: I’m not taking one with my face but I’ve limited my options, because I’m indecisive as hell

Michael was home playing video games, kind of wishing Jeremy was with him still before his phone buzzed. He paused his game and picked up his phone, immediately blushing and finding his jaw dropped slightly before closing his mouth, kind of glad Jeremy wasn’t here

Michael 4:55 PM: You look… amazing in it  
Michael 4:56 PM: Sorry, that was weird, and sorry I just.. caught myself staring  
Michael 4:56 PM: Oh god that sounds weird too I’m so sorry

Jeremy 4:58 PM: Thank.. you?  
Jeremy 4:59 PM: I still wish I could like.. not wear a dress

Michael 5:01 PM: I know, but by prom I’m hoping you can

Jeremy 5:02 PM: holy shit that’d be amazing, but I’m going home now because.. uh, you know  
Jeremy 5:04 PM: three hours until i spend 4 hours in a corner

Michael 5:05 PM: Christine says she made a specific anxiety corner for you, it’s away from most people, right next to the doors and right outside is the bathrooms

Jeremy 5:07 PM: This is why I love Christine

Michael’s stomach sank a little, his feelings for his best friend twisting into slight jealousy. He liked Jeremy, he’s liked him even when he was a girl, and he still liked him. He wanted to tell him soon, Just didn’t know how to, or when or where

Michael 5:09 PM: I’ll leave you to it until then?

Jeremy 5:11 PM: Oh right! I’ll text you when I’m there

Michael 5:12 PM: I can pick you up?

Jeremy 5:14 PM: That could work, but I think I’m gonna get my dad to.. or have Christine pick me up  
Jeremy 5:15 PM: or Rich

Michael’s stomach hurt more, his chest pushing in on itself as if he couldn’t breathe, realizing he was holding his breathe he quickly let it out

Michael 5:17 PM: You do whatever, As long as we’re still going as a date in a way, but as friends

Jeremy blinked, staring at his phone as he walked inside, immediately going to his room to put his things down, freaking out a little

Jeremy 5:20 PM: Definitely!

“Fuck” he muttered to himself, Michael not replying after that. He thought he messed up but he knew Michael wanted to go together so he hoped for the best and started getting ready

________________________

Michael 7:21 PM: JERRY

Jeremy was downstairs with his dad, wearing his skirt and plaid shirt “Yeah but if we got one then I wouldn’t complain so much or whine about wanting a pet!” Jeremy pointed out, talking to his dad before taking out his phone “Hold that thought”

Jeremy 7:23 PM: I am clothed, relaxed

Michael 7:34 PM: I’m not gonna say how weird that sounded but I’m guessing in your outfit but anyways, ride or no?

Jeremy 7:37 PM: Rich’s got me

Michael 7:39 PM: Im on my way then so have fun, I’ll be waiting

Jeremy 7:40 PM: I will !

Jeremy’s stomach felt light, his head dizzy and his knees shaky, he didn’t want to honestly go but he wanted his friends to see him being social and happy, and before he knew it Christine was honking at him from Rich’s car, racing through the window

He blushed lightly before sighing, hugging his dad and walking out the door, climbing into the car to have Christine smiling at him, Chloe and Brooke staring while Rich winked at him

“..What?” He mumbled before Christine squealed, covering his ears

“You look adorable!! I mean I know you’re a boy and the rule is stupid but I’ve just never seen you in a dress” Christine quickly said before bouncing in her seat

Jeremy blinked, his face mostly red before he looked in the back seat at Chloe and Brooke, matching pink short dresses with frilled edges, even matching shoes. Christine in the middle of them a longer bright red dress, she always looked good in red while Rich was wearing a black dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up with a light blue tie

“You do too Christine” he smiled, buckling up giving Rich the sign to drive “Just you know.. don’t-” He started before Chloe leaned up taking a picture of him “You little sLUT” he exaggerated, reaching back for her

___________________

Michael stood in front of the school, watching excitedly but mostly nervous with Jake at his side. He was wearing basically the same thing as Rich but a darker blue to match Jeremy while Jake were green, always green with this kid

“So-“ Michael started before Rich looked at him

“You like Jeremy” he smiled as Michael’s face went completely red

“Is it that noticeable? Or did I let it slip to someone- Oh god I’m so nervous” Michael mumbled, his smile still staying though

Jake laughed, patting his shoulder “Christine did, speaking of-“ he pointed up at Christine waving in the sky roof, but Michael was paying more attention to Jeremy. He was sitting back wards, unbuckled and looked like he was about to choke Chloe behind him. Christine screaming made him snap out of it as he looked up

“Jeremy is trying to murder Chloe!” Christine smiled innocently as Rich stopped the car

“Not trying- Succeeding!” He screamed back before Rich got out of the car, walking up to Jake

“They’re not my problem anymore, bye kids!” Rich yelled before taking Jake’s hand and walking inside

Michael stood there for a minute, watching Christine get out and walk up to him, more of a bounce than anything before Chloe ran out, Jeremy quickly getting out after her to chase her behind Michael, quickly grabbing him “No- no, Jeremy no!” He laughed

Jeremy stared at him for a moment before blushing, pushing him away a little so they weren’t as close “Fine” he smiled, mumbling though as he just stared at Michael, nervous, scared, and unconfident

Michael smiled and held out his arm for reassurance “Best friends, Anxiety corner, Always here” quick and simple being a little nervous his self “I’m here” he nodded

Jeremy blinked and slowly took his arm, hugging it against his chest as he looked down “Always” he repeated, hoping he could believe

Michael nodded and walked with him inside, suddenly getting a lot warmer and a bit darker, Jeremy’s grip tightening and Michael’s steps getting closer to Jeremy. He looked up as lights flashed, tons of other people running around and screaming as they screamed lyrics “..Eh” Michael cringed a little, glaring at the room

Jeremy smiled, still holding his arm “You scream lyrics all the time” He mumbled, lightly nudging him before slowly letting go “Uh, Can we go home and just get stoned, eat left over pizza..? Drunk maybe” Jeremy tried

Michael shook his head “Come on Jer, It’ll be fun I promise..” He pouted, seeing Jeremy’s face and knew he was getting his way

Jeremy sighed and smiled “Alright.. Dance? Or, What exactly are we going to do for four hours?” Jeremy blinked, looking at Michael’s watch, flashing 8:02 PM “We didn’t think this through” he mumbled, his knees still bending and shaking 

Michael smiled “Dance, Sing, Scream, eat food-“

“I heard food” Jeremy let go of his arm and smiled “But I guess it could be fun” he shrugged

Christine laughed patting his shoulder “Obviously, Now come on!! Let’s go dance” she smiled, shoving Jeremy a little as he lightly waved, starting to walk, Michael following

Jeremy had to yell over a few people just to hear himself, covering one of his ears “Wait- Chrissy, Who are you hear with?” He smiled

“I’m here by myself!” She screamed, not bothering to stop dancing “Now dance Jerry!” She giggled

Michael laughed, a little awkward before grabbing Jeremy’s hands to dance with him. He wanted to find Jake or Rich, Brooke or Evan Chloe, best option was to find Christine while she was alone but she’d be running everywhere until she was free to talk

“Should’ve just danced!” Michael yelled, still smiling as he laughed

“I didn’t even want to come!” He protested, still moving around though

“I promise if you start freaking out we’ll go home” he smiled, slowly down a little for Jeremy to calm himself down

“Oh hell no, This is fun! I’m not alone, I’m not afraid- I feel great!” He smiled widely before letting go of one of Michael’s hands to grab Christine’s

“That’s good!” She screamed, smiling widely before taking Jeremy’s other hands to dance with Jeremy “I’m gonna steal him!” She laughed, Jeremy giving a small shrug and smile to Michael

“Thats cool, Im gonna find Rich” he yelled, walking off a little to find Rich in the hall way sitting at a break table with Jake, playing cards or something

“Mikey? I thought you were dancing with Jeremy” Rich mumbled, much quieter in the hallway

“I was, Just a little loud and, I need advice” he smiled a little, sitting down in front of Rich

“What about?” Rich tilted his head a little, Jake listening in as he smiled lightly

“How do I ask Jeremy out?”


	2. What if..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boyf riends, that is all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy is shorter than Michael :V
> 
> It's half "poorly written" and half "I tried my best"

“How’s your night going?” Christine asked, much quieter now that it was a slow dance

Jeremy shrugged, not speaking, his mouth was pressed together as if he didn’t want to talk, avoiding eye contact

“Hey whats wrong?” Christine stopped, tugging on his hand

“Well.. I don’t know, Im not allowed to change but i don’t wanna be in this dress” he mumbled, his face getting a little darker

Christine smiled and took his hand, sitting him down in the corner “I’ll be back in a minute!” she smiled, walking out the door to come back a few minutes later with a back pack, taking his hand again “You left some clothes at my house last time you stayed over and they were in my car” she smiled, walking to the bathroom

Jermey blinked and smiled “You’re amazing Chris”

She nodded, walking into the bathroom “And you’ll look amazing in these now go” she pushed him into the girl’s stall with the back pack

He laughed and got changed, staring down at his converse “..Can i just stay in here?” he mumbled

She laughed and sighed “No.” she said seriously before smiling “C’mon, Lets go now”

He sighed, rolling up his blue dress shirt sleeves before opening the door “Fine, i’ll just leave the bag in the hall” he mumbled

She smiled and readjusted his collar, unbuttoning the one around his neck “After dancing” she smiled, taking the bag with his hand to run outside again, throwing the bag against the wall to start dancing again

“So how’s your night now?” Christine said quieter now that it was a slow song

“Honestly.. It’s amazing” Jeremy laughed, them both dancing fast paced “I don’t know where everyone went, We’ve kind of been in here and the bathroom for a few songs” he mumbled, looking around a little

“Oh yeah” She mumbled, thinking a little “How about we take a break? Sit in the hallway, Maybe they’re in there” she smiled, taking his hand to lead him into the hallway where Rich was mumbling something to Michael sitting next to him

Jeremy smiled and walked up, sitting next to him, an innocent smile across his face

“Yeah but i mean, do you think- Ah!” Michael blushed slightly, staring at Jeremy before swallowing “You scared me! ..You look much better in that” he smiled

Jeremy smiled and shrugged a little awkwardly “Sorry” he mumbled “What are you doing in here?” he smiled a little, hoping he wasn’t being annoying

“We’re- uh..” Michael swallowed getting a little nervous before looking down

“Just talking” Jake smiled before Rich nudged him

“Yeah, talking shit about all the whores in school who have their dresses so short you can see they have no underwear on” Rich improvised, crossing his arms on the table

Jeremy laughed, subconsciously pulling on his collar a little “Well jokes on you, I’m not even a girl” he pointed out, feeling a little stupid

Christine smiled and sat next to him to comfort him before hitting the table “Rich, Did you bring your cards?”

Michael blinked “Wait cards?”

Rich nodded handing Christine a stack of strangely colored cards “It’s like this game where there.. It’s basically truth or dare” she shrugged “But with random questions too”

Jeremy blinked, holding out his hand “How weird could it be?” he rolled his eyes as Christine handed him a card, suddenly blushing and covering his face with the card

Michael blinked, slowly taking it while Jeremy laid his head on the table “If you could kiss anyone who is playing right now who would it be? Now kiss them” Michael blushed a little and snorted, handing him his card

“Why-“ Jeremy laughed, sitting up, his whole face red from laughter and blushing “Alright.. alright” he mumbled, turning to Michael to kiss him on the cheek, sitting back down “I have few regrets” he snorted, his curls falling into his face before laying his face down, leaning back up “God, Im sorry Michael” he mumbled

Michael was completely red, his stomach fluttering as he felt sick. He knew he wasn’t going to be sick, but he kind of wish he did so he could leave. 

“You’re alright, I’ll be right back though” he smiled, ruffling Jeremy’s hair before quickly walking to the bathroom, his breathe heavy and his legs giving out as he sat on the floor against the walls. 

“Slow breathes” he mumbled to himself, his vision slightly blurred as thought filled his mind. Would Jeremy like him back? Does Jeremy want a relationship, Should he wait? What if Jeremy thinks Michael still thinks he’s a girl? or what if Jeremy doesn’t want a boyfriend, but a girlfriend 

“Breathe..” he mumbled, thinking.

If Jeremy didn’t like him back, It wasn’t the end of the world. They could still be friends, and maybe Jeremy could learn to like him more than a friend. Michael smiled at that but kept his hopes low, don’t ask for too much.

If Jermey didn’t want a relationship at the moment then Michael would wait, He’d be with him every second of it, Not to be clingy but making sure Jeremy is prepared. He wanted his best friend to be happy, not uncomfortable or any sort, Best friends.

If Jeremy thinks of himself as a girl then Michael would have to keep reminding him, He was a boy. His best friend. Gender doesn’t matter to Michael, but he knew Jeremy wanted to be thought of as a boy. Because he was a boy, nothing can change that, Michael’s point of view, He’s seen Jeremy as a boy even before he came out as trans

But what if Jeremy also is scared of dating? He’d never dated, Maybe he would be horrible at it, Had he ever had a first kiss? Michael was fairly sure he was still a virgin, not saying they’d change that but just to be clear

“If he’s scared then.. Then i’ll help him out” he mumbled, standing up now, looking in the mirror and smiling, he took another deep breathe before smiling widely, deciding to walk out, staring at Jeremy before tilting his head lightly

He was sitting on Rich’s lap, leaning back into his chest, Jake was wearing red lipstick and Christine looked normal with her phone

“Uh, Did i miss something?” he mumbled, sitting on the floor where they had moved

“Oh thank god, here you take him” Rich moved Jeremy over to Michael, Jeremy sitting now in his lap, leaning back on his shoulder

Michael blushed a little and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist before looking at Christine “Can i get an explanation now?”

Jeremy looked up and nodded “You were gone for nearly half an hour, You okay?” he blinked “We just kept playing, and moved to the floor” he looked back down

Michael blinked. 30 minutes? Really?? It didn’t feel that long..

Christine gasped, looking at Jeremy “Jer, Your turn, Spike the punch bowl!” she smirked

Rich laughed “I got vodka in the car” he teased “You up for it?” Rich laughed, standing up to go outside

“What the actual fuck” Michael stared at Jeremy “You’re not gonna do anything about it?” he mumbled

Jeremy shrugged, looking him in the eye this time, his eyes a light pink. He was defiantly smoking while Michael was gone. He sat up a little, putting his hands on top of Michael’s as he leaned into Michael’s neck, his face slightly colder

Michael blushed a little and smiled, he could get used to this. His best friend, hopefully more by the end of the night, cuddling with him. Not even aware, not high enough to forget what happened, just a little buzz. He could go for one now himself

Rich quickly came back with it wrapped in Michael’s jacket “I also stole your jacket” he smiled, handing it to Jeremy

“Thats fine” Michael mumbled, letting go of Jeremy, but he didn’t move yet

Jeremy moved up only a little to put the jacket on, taking the bottle inside his jacket as he crouched a little, walking back into the dark room, making his way across the room

“..Do you think he’s gonna do it?” Rich mumbled, looking through the small glass in the door “If he doesn’t i am” he smirked

Jeremy quickly came back, putting a now empty bottle of vodka in the trash, covering it with broken streamers and old papers “Alright, I think we should go back to dancing or something more eventful” he laughed, the buzz from smoking already gone from being in the room without his friends

“Right” Jake quickly wiped his mouth, the lipstick mostly gone by now before everyone stood up, Jeremy walking to Michael

Michael smiled, putting an arm around him “Having fun are you?” Michael laughed, walking inside with Jeremy under his arm, honestly feeling a little empty as he walked away to shove a cookie in his mouth

“Yesth i mhh am” He tried before swallowing, taking a breathe “Yes, even if gain five pounds after this” he laughed, rubbing his face, his freckles stretching in an adorable way as his curls covered his face still

Michael blushed more. His heart was beating so much that he could feel it in his throat. Could people around him hear his heart jumping around?Loud bumps filled his ears, It was the moment he realized he was truly in love, in deep.

“Michael!” Jeremy nearly yelled, his voice cracking as he waved his hand in front of Michael’s face “Are you okay? You’ve been staring off and looking worried.. Maybe we should go-” he started

“No! No, no no no” Michael laughed, coming back to realty “I’m fine, Just zoning out and thinking” he smiled “Maybe just the new smell of alcohol kicking in, i swear I’m fine” he smiled, feeling his stomach twist a little just thinking about Jeremy

Jeremy frowned a little “I do feel a little sick myself” he mumbled “Move away from the table?” he smiled shyly, slowly reaching for Michael’s fingers

Michael blinked and quickly took his hand, maybe a little too desperate, he’d pas sit off as wanting to comfort Jeremy anyways. He started walking into the crowd, cautiously but still quick before turning, Jeremy accidentally running into him, looking up at him with big eyes before taking a step back, his fingers tighten on Michael’s “Sorry” he mumbled shyly, standing a little awkwardly now, his hair falling in his face

Michael smiled lightly, moving his hair to take Jeremy’s hands, slowly moving them around his neck “It’s alright” he smiled, slowly moving his hands to Jeremy’s waist, pulling hm in a little closer 

Jeremy blushed, fidgeting with his fingers behind Michael’s neck “Im.. being awkward” he mumbled, blushing as Michael’s hands traveled further down before smiling as they stopped “Sorry” he laughed a little

Michael just laughed, starting to slowly walk a little, not really dancing but moving to make it less awkward “You’re doing fine, Jer” he smiled

He smiled, standing on his toes to be almost as tall as Michael before standing back down “Just seeing how short i really was” he mumbled before giggling, nearly stepping on Michael’s toes, looking down “Sorry-“ he mumbled

Michael moved his hand to keep him looking up “You’re doing just fine” he smiled, feeling butterflies again “Can i.. ask a weird question” he mumbled

Jeremy smiled and nodded “Sure” he smiled, watching Michael with big, waiting and curious eyes, lightly tilting his head so his curls moved out of his face

Michael couldn’t help but smile, moving his curls behind his ear “I was wondering if.. Maybe, Well i know we’ve been friends forever and so long but i was just maybe wondering if.. You would go out with me?” he voice getting a little quieter near the end

Jeremy’s whole face went red, staring up at him in disbelief for a long second before smiling widely, letting out a sharp, high-pitched squeal “Yes! Yes !! Yes, yes yes!” He squealed, jumping up and down a little, completely forgetting the people around him

Michael’s heart fluttered a little at seeing how happy he was, picking up to twirl him around a little before putting him back down, hugging his waist much closer

Jeremy smiled, his hands resting on Michael’s cheeks, pulling down into a clumsy but amazing first kiss for the both of them, Jeremy’s mouth tasted like sugar while Michael’s tasted like weed, but he liked the way Jeremy tasted much more

His hands tighten a little, wrapping around Michael’s neck to pull him down, having to stand on his tip toes to be able to reach anything.

Michael was enjoying it, never wanting to pull away, keeping his hands still and glad Jeremy didn’t pull away either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible chapter 3 :U

**Author's Note:**

> i started this friday and then saturday we had a dance at my school, im just going by what happened to me- ,,as if i wwere Jeremy,, and my girlfriend was mike IDK, i had fun =v=;


End file.
